I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize