It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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