i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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