Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
