sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
