I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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