Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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