She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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