We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
