My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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