So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
