Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
