did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
