If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
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I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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