butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
