That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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