Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
