You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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