is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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