all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
