I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize