pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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