3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
