alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
