I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
