the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize