You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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