She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
