you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
