Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
