dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
