super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
