It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize