dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize