dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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