New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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