he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
