Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
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My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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