those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
