we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
