It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
