Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
