Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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