Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
