...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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