I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
