If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
