Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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