Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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