dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
