Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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