If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
