She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
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Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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