he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
