why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize