his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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