are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
North Korea, Best Korea!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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