A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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