why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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