Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
