So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
