Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
