Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize