yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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