He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize