After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Less talking, more tequila
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
