I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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