i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
