hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
2020 sucks, I want a refund
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize